I would like to share an experience I had that really opened my eyes.
I had had a dream the other night that was so terrifying. I had backed the suburban up and ran over Savannah. I know horrible right?!? A parent's worse nightmare! The dream ended but the feelings stayed with me all day. I just couldn't get it out of my mind. I kept telling myself to get over it. It hadn't had happened and it wasn't real so just relax. I had work to do and needed to focuss.
Well I had a half an hour break at work. This gave me just enough time to run to the sitters where Savannah was. I took her home, throw dinner in the oven, say hi to the kids, get the other babysitter settled with the kids, jump in the car and head back to work. As I was bouncing down the porch steps to get back in the car the dream popped into my mind again. I was angry at myself for thinking about it again. My eyes teared up as the feelings from the dream raced back into my heart. I noticed Cody and a neighbor playing in the yard. I yelled "Good Bye! Love you!" He turned to wave to me just as I closed the door and turned on the ignition. He kept waving to me to come see him and yelling something I couldn't make out. I was aggrivated that he didn't understand I didn't have time to have a conversation. But I rolled down my window to see what all the comotion was about. I yelled out a very short "What is it Cody? I'm in a hurry" and he raced over to the passenger side and bent down to pick something up. It was Savannah!! She had some how followed me out the door without me noticing. She wanted another kiss good bye. Cody had noticed her and was yelling for HER to come to him not ME! I think I sat there for 10 more minutes in astonishment. Heavenly Father had been trying to tell me all day that that moment was going to happen. If I would have turned the wheel to pull out of the drive way like I wanted to the dream would have come true! He was trying to warn me all day through the Holy Ghost. Because he loves ME and because he cares for ME he didn't let that awful thing happen! I am so thankful for HIM and the things he does for ME. He watches over ME even when I don't ask for it. I wonder how many times he has saved ME and me not even know it. I've made a lot of stupid decisions this past year. I've had to repent a lot this year for being human and everytime I have felt his warm passionate forgiveness seep into my soul. I have had to learn to become meek and humble and like a little child when it comes to his teachings. Submissive to all things. I would like to close with this scripture Mosiah 3:19 For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father.
-Amen
